In the world of Final Fantasy, random encounters grant players that much-needed experience points necessary to beat both story and optional bosses. All right, you have defeated Kuja or Emperor Vayne during your first try – I know you’ve been humiliated (if not, I’m going to become the laughing stock of the whole Final Fantasy blogosphere) by these beasts boasting impeccable penchant to dispatch you with a single move.

Push (or poke it with a  sharp object) that restart button because you’re going to die eventually – this list contains some of the most overlooked opponents that will make you look silly during your first encounter with them. No Phoenix Pinions to save you on this one!

5. Red Chocobo (Final Fantasy Tactics) – So ganging up on defenseless yellow Chocobos from Mandalia Plains is the way to go, huh? How about entering Zierchele Falls and surprise yourself with a crew of Red Chocobos ready to avenge their physically-unable brethren. First time Tactics players find themselves bewildered on how to beat these hard-hitting birdies; if they don’t feel like killing Ramza with a powerful ‘Choco Ball’ then, they’ll annihilate your party with a Chocobo Meteor. If only we could escape from these needless bloodshed.

4. Axe Beak (Final Fantasy IX) – Ah Lindlum, home to the very first synthesis shop you’ll encounter. How about a walk outside the castle’s defensive walls with your newly-acquired Butterfly Sword. Carve Spiders are so level 5 behind, how about those Axe Beaks? They look vulnerable and at the same time, pretentious on how they will deal with your cockamamie idea of letting Zidane fight these flightless monstrosities “alone.” Glowing Eyes will knock Zidane out while the other pecks at you or cast Thundara continuously – hitting both shoulder buttons will be ineffective because, well, you’re fast asleep. Die, you cocky thief.

3. Cactuar (Final Fantasy VI to Final Fantasy XIII) – There’s something wrong with this humanoid cactus. That stationary pose, two jet black eye lids, oblong-shaped mouth? Anyway, he’s still tiny, I should able to win this one, right? Wrong! Once you KO’ed this desert-dweller, it’ll unleash an attack popularly called as “1,000 Needles.” If you were unlucky and encountered one when three of your party members are flat on their backs, those thorns will forever be a symbol of a short-lived journey across monster-populated continents.

2. Tonberry (Final Fantasy X) – It’s slow, it’s got a lamp and it’s equipped with a knifes ready to cleave you at any moment. Like it will get here on time and… what’s this Karma?! The more fiends you have killed, the more damage this skill will inflict upon the damager. Don’t go near it when you HP is 9,999 below or else. Once close enough to strike, Tonberry’s knife will purge all those who have underestimated it’s peculiar fighting style.

1. Malboro (We hate its origins) – The epitome of status ailments! This weird dude of unexplained origins will pawn you with its Bad Breath attack that dazes players with, if not all, negative status changes hampering their abilities to fight. If you have a Ribbon then you’re safe. If you’ve got no protection to its horrendous spit of death then, you’re toast. Personally, I think the developers went overboard with this tentacle-laden fiend – you could stop spamming us with consistent ambushes on Malboros, thank you!

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